Personal Problem

This is me right now. But Black. LOL

So if you know me, you know that it's pretty hard to get me really mad. I've learned over time that there is too much to smile about, too much positivity, too many blessings bestowed upon me for me to get angry and upset over menial things. That extra stress is very unnecessary.

However, I do have a personal issue. I DO tend to get stressed out sometimes, but I recognize that it is nobody's fault but my own. The only time this really happens is when I repress what I want to express...and harbor it inside until it becomes such a heavy weight on my shoulders that it becomes unbearably painful.

Yea, I know that this may sound surprising to those that check the webshow and/or follow me on Twitter, but sometimes, I am afraid to say what's on my mind. For some, this may not be very surprising at all lol. I usually end up quite depressed because of this. When all I have to do is simply say what's on my mind, I get scared. I freeze up.

I don't say what I want to say for a multitude of reasons: I feel I'll sound stupid, my words will get twisted or misunderstood, or I simply feel like it's not my place to speak anyway, so I stay in my lane. Naturally the only things that would affect me to THAT degree would be matters of the heart..

SOOOO I say all of that to say that currently, I have a few things that I want to say to a few people, but I'm choosing not to...for REASONS...and it's bothering me. This isn't any random shit on Twitter that I've seen that has nothing to do with me or nothing like that, but people that I have personal relationships with, feel strongly for, and don't want to drive away because I'm speaking on dumb shit.

My heart is heavy...and possibly for no reason, for I tend to make something out of nothing here and there. I'm praying and patiently waiting for God to show me the way on this one..