The Essence of Essence..

I feel like too often I am judged entirely too much. I'm sure everyone else feels the same way, but I have to say that personally, I'm SICK of it. Too many times, no matter how much positivity I expell onto you mafukkas, you all continue to insist on dwelling in the few things I do that you may find negative, or buy into lil rumors and things that you hear about me. (Which I WILL address one day, but that's another blog.) Think about it: I mean I may get a handful of people who actually take the time out to read my blogs and my more insightful tweets and get an idea of what's in my heart and mind. To you all, I say THANK YOU! The fact that you read and give me feedback, either in the comments section or through Twitter, means a whole lot to me. More than you all can ever know. I TRULY appreciate it. I understand that this side of me can get boring and annoying at times. I'm human...and all humans have many different sides. For instance, I like to go on webcam and ta...

So I was listening to Shade 45 on XM radio on the way to class today, and learned something that pissed me off pretty badly: Apparently last night there was an airing of an Australian talent show called 'Hey Hey It's Saturday.' It's sort of like 'America's/Britain's Got Talent,' where people perform a multitude of talents in competition for money or prizes or sumthin like that. Anyway, there was a performance by six white men doing a quote/unquote 'tribute' to Michael Jackson by performing as the 'Jackson Jive.' Jesus take the wheel. (CLICK THE IMAGE TO VIEW THE PERFORMANCE) Anywho...as you can see, they performed in Blackface, followed by a 'modern-day' portrayal of Michael in whiteface. Now...here's what I have to say about all of this: FIRST off, I want to give a HUGE shout out to Harry Connick, Jr. For those of you who don't know, this man is ranked as the 60th best selling United States male artist. He's a Grammy...

So I just looked at some of the things I Twittered last night, and decided to combine them into a poem to be published here. I've decided to call it "A Change of Heart." So here goes: yet.. for some strange reason.. i cannot allow my mind to escape thoughts of you. you find your way into dreams and memories. you're a cocaine.. invading my senses.. i try to resist but my mind stays explicit.. on fire.. intrinsic.. how is this? when'd i lose control? in an instant? it must be the distance.. you are a cocaine. sometimes, i talk to me: "why are you afraid? because of the circumstances you create? i wish it was different but hey, it's too late.. you seal your own fate. you live and you lay in YOUR bed that YOU make. and you'll make mistakes.. but its best that you learn and move on, for your sake." so i've messed up my bed, all laid out, in my head linger thoughts of these things that we did. if i told you all this, would you see me the same? wou...

To tell you what is on my mind would be revealing a large & vulnerable piece of myself The words are there, but trapped. They can't escape, so here I dwell in the abyss that is Silence. I'm deep in thought, nearly a trance Accepting what it is, what it could be...I've left it up to chance The reality of the situation is, I believe I'm in a dreamworld of pretty colors, happy fantasies...where love always unfurls But I wonder if I choose to dwell simply cause it's so nice I do it all despite preferring daytime over night However...what would it be like? Are these thoughts I always hope for my daytime? Or deeper night? I'm not depressed or lonely. I'm not falling in love Just wondering what is, what could be, and what it was The shit's really got me stuck. So I sit here.. And.. And I wait.. And I wonder.. ............ Housing a deep desire for the truth to be unraveled somehow I'd probably wait forever, but I'd like to know right now..

WHY IS THIS SO ABNORMAL??? Looks fine to me. In class today we discussed gender roles and how more women are working and more men are opting to help out around the house more. One guy explained that because we were 'trained' to take on certain gender roles from birth we can't help but take on our roles assigned by society. However, that sounds like an excuse to me. You're perfectly capable of changing a damn diaper and cooking dinner just like I'm capable of changing oil and mowing the damn lawn. If you're so aware of the gender roles, why can't you change them? Most gay people were not 'trained' to be gay. Some were raised to be masculine or feminine, and end up playing the opposite role. Why can't you get your ass up and take care of the kids one day while I take out the trash & all that shit? I'm pretty sure most women would accept the switcheroo here and there. I grew up in a household that never knew gender roles. My parents split ...