Tired.
Today, I am tired. Tired of being the first and the last to know. Tired of breaking every single vertebrae in my back trying to be someone else's Cab Bank Counselor Journal Support System. I've run out of back to break. Tired of feeling the pain of those I love: friends & family AND everyone else. Tired of crying everyone's tears as well as my own. I'm just sick and fucking tired of living right now. Sick of exhausting myself trying to please every single person in my life only to have everyone treat me like a piece of shit anyway. Treated like the bad guy after doing good deeds my whole FUCKING life. I'm tired of feeling like anything but an awesome friend. A woman who is to be respected. Someone with a heart who wants to love and be loved. I'm tired of me bringing things onto myself. Tired of allowing myself to be a dirty carpet A stepping stool A ladder A toilet A hand to jack off with. I'm SICK. When I try to live for me I become public enemy #1. Why...