What the hell is "beauty," anyway?

Made up.

Okay. First I'm going to start by telling you how I look now: pajama pants & a green wifebeater, no makeup, and I just finished washing and blow drying my hair. But before I flat iron, I had to talk about this.

About 20 minutes ago, I posted a picture of myself, described above (as I look right now), on the internet. The immediate general response was "You're still pretty." However, when I told my mother I had posted the picture, she had a friggin heart attack! Her exact words:

"OH NO Essence PLEASE don't do it!!!"

But.. the damage was done.


When I told her that everyone was commenting and saying that I was "still pretty." She kind of laughed, said "Well you should ALWAYS try and look your best, Essence" and kept it moving. Of course, this is not a blog to diss my mother. I'm not trying to get my ass beat. My mom has always been that type of woman to present herself 100% in public. PERIOD. A lot of the old school folks are.

Mama getting the mail. Just kidding. :o)

She's also spent most of my life trying to convince me to do the same. Of course, I was a little rebel when it came to that. I was a tomboy until high school, until my mom finally convinced me to start changing up a bit. Now, all the makeup I ever wear is pressed powder, eyeliner, maybe a little shadow, and lipgloss. I'll wear a more dramatic color shadow (maybe even 2 or 3 colors! daring.. lol) for the nightlife but that's it.

With that said, I've always disagreed with my mother's logic. I never gave a fuck about how people saw me from the surface. Someone who sees me dressed down and judges me based on THAT can kick rocks as far as I'm concerned. At the same time, I feel where my mom is coming from now that I've matured. There are some situations in which you just have to present yourself better, and that part I didn't get when I was younger.

I still think that a trip to Wal-Mart dressed like I am now is perfectly fine, though. :o)

At least the purse is nice?

The same way I want to be accepted is what I look for in a significant other. Meaning, I'm looking for the mind and the heart FIRST and foremost, and that's how I want to be discovered.. INITIALLY. Of course, looks don't hurt but THAT is where I want the initial AND ultimate attraction to come from, and that's a major reason why I chose celibacy, so men can look past the surface and get inside my head instead of my pussy, because that is DEFINITELY what I look out for every time I'm approached by a guy.

Where's your head at, son? What you thinkin bout? My ass?

"Oh SHIT girl.. you got HORSE LEGS!!!"

No bueno.

I met somebody a little bit ago who made no mention of my anatomy the entire duration of our meeting, but immediately started getting into my head.. sharing intellectual conversation.

He mindfucked THE shit out of me and I cannot stop thinking about it.

THAT'S where true "beauty" should really come from.

Instead, beauty has become simple carbon copies of what media and society in general only accept as such. "Bad bitches" and "Photoshopped vixens" and what not. (No offense to models, btw.)

So I'm thinking: What is beautiful nowadays? Can a person walk around completely undone and still be accepted the same way, and if not, is beauty really all that matters? What the hell happened to personality? Is a drop dead gorgeous airhead better than a "regular" chick? Regular looks, regular profession, regular life? Will a man be more inclined to approach "society's" beauty for a moment or a "regular" beauty for
a lifetime? Share your thoughts..


  1. I think the fact that so much of society has turned to the marketability of sex and "enhanced" beauty, the only real definition of beauty is what you see on a cover of a magazine or what they see on TV. I mean, look at what makes the news, if someone has a new butt enhancement, or God forbid was seen in walmart in regular clothes, they make front page news. I don't know about most guys, but I would much rather take substance over appearance. I'm thinking about life investment, if you are too slow to handle business if I'm gone, that's bad life investment. I need to know that if something happens, the kids are str8, the house is good, the finances won't get ruined, etc. I don't care how fine you are, there is no point in having a pretty vase if the only thing it's good for is sitting on a mantle, b/c one day you are going to get tired of looking at it.


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