So I was listening to Frank & Wanda on V-103 this morning and I very briefly heard the beginning of their discussion about groupies before having to head into work. It compelled me to write this blog, since I've been wanting to touch on this subject for awhile now because the term "groupie" has been thrown around so much in recent times. 

Nowadays the "groupie" is being glorified as well as condemned, and what used to be a somewhat silent practice has suddenly gone and went mainstream. You see it all day long: women (and men) scoping out folks for their money, power, and popularity.. using these things so that they themselves can move on up like George and Weezy.. if not financially, then in status. Some people simply want their names to be known. Others want nothing more than to use the person to gain the money, power, and popularity that they have. Then there are those who want a child or ring on their finger to ensure that they are set for life, either through a lifelong commitment with or without love or a crazy stupid divorce settlement or spousal and/or child support. And some people, although not groupies themselves, both accept AND respect this? I don't get it.

Case and point.

Then you have people who have no concept whatsoever about what a "groupie" is. As a matter of fact, the term "groupie" is in itself as loose as the term "hater" and because of this gets misused quite a bit. Because the term is so loose there really IS no definition.

Like race, beauty, and good/bad hair, the word "groupie" is a socially constructed term. For you non-sociology majors, that simply means that we, the people, fucking made it up and reified it. (We used it so much and so long that we forgot we made it up and now believe it as fact.)

For example, let's take someone like.. say.. Rihanna. There are some people who will say that she is hands down the most beautiful creature to have ever walked the face of this Earth EVER. Others say she's the epitome of what is hideous.

Most beautiful creature on the planet.. or Magilla Gorilla? You decide..

Another beauty example would be something I saw on that Jessica Simpson show the other day.. there's this tribe in Uganda that thinks that the skinnier you are, the less attractive you are. The most beautiful women are the fattest women. In fact, the women, before getting married, have to sit in a hut for MONTHS and drink the milk of some wild beast nonstop until they gain a substantial amount of weight. That's the complete opposite of how we view beauty around these parts. Therefore, the concept of what is actually "beauty" does not exist.. get it?

As is the term "groupie." We all have different ideas on the term, as I've seen in numerous heated discussions on - you guessed it - Twitter. We also have the tendency to throw the name "groupie" as an insult. A lot of the time the people accused of being a groupie aren't even remotely groupie-like, but hey.. people like to dislike what they don't understand.

I've been called a groupie myself.. more times than I can count. Honestly, as an adult I've never felt like I've been any more or less attracted to somebody because they had some type of money, power, or status. As a child? Well that was different. It was exciting to see someone in person that I'd only seen before on TV or in magazines. I had an obsession with Ray J back in the day, so naturally as a pre-teen when I saw him in person at a concert I was chasing him down like all the other pre-teens. Still, that didn't make me a groupie.. just an overzealous fan.

Clearly not what I wanted at 11 years old.

When I first moved to Atlanta permanently at 17, I had dreams of being a singer. I majored in music, vocal and performance. When I realized how easy it was to make it on video shoots and various celeb events, I went to every one, all by myself. I never spoke to any of the celebs, unless spoken to, and never tried to. I felt like I was learning the business. While others were trying to get close to the celebs, I found myself watching the crew. I paid close attention to how music videos were created and all the different tools and hard work it took. Plus, it was fun looking for myself on TV afterwards. I even got with a casting director so I could get info about private shoots and became an extra. I never wanted to get paid.. it was all for fun. I quit only after realizing that the models who do the shit to eat are super ruthless. When it stopped being fun, I was over it.

Do I have friends in "the industry?" Yes.. who doesn't nowadays? Everybody is somebody to SOMEBODY somehow lol. Nobody that I can just call up whenever and have a casual conversation. Most are simple associates.. we know each other by face and name.. "hey how you doing goodbye" type of thing.

As is for everyone nowadays, there have been times where I've been moved to the front of the line at the club or sat in the VIP. Does it happen every time I see a friend? No. Does it matter to me either way? Hell no. I never spend anyone else's money unless someone insists and I don't want to argue.

On another hand, have I spent a day lounging by the pool with a glass of wine at somebody's lavish mansion? Nope. Have I been flown anywhere in my adult life without using my own money.. or to see some friend? Nope. Have I ever received any sort of gift from anybody other than the fam on holidays? Nope. Does it matter to me? Not at all. I'm perfectly content in having my own and getting to where I want to be in life using my own processes and only my family's support, as I've been doing.

Does this make me a groupie? Hell yea, you let some other folks tell it. lol

For someone who's life revolves around scoping for someone to fulfill needs FOR you that you are perfectly capable of attaining yourself just boggles my mind. But hey.. do what you do shawty. The only thing that is disturbing for me is that this type of behavior is slowly becoming the norm.. to the point where this is the type of thing men expect from all women, ultimately treating us as such.

Yes.. yes they are.

 My behavior towards relationships.. the way I was raised to love and respect and expect the same in return, has made me "different." Seriously.. every other dude that approaches me always says "You're different" after speaking with me for sometime. -Essence shrug-

Do I enjoy being different?

FUCK yea.

But it sucks that living my life NOT trying to gain material and unimportant posessions is considered "different." I wish that every woman in the world was "different" like me. I wish more women had more self-worth, self-respect, dignity, class, and love & optimism in their hearts. Just love life and wanna live it to the best of their own ability, not someone else's. I seek to gain nothing but beautiful life experiences.

Guess that makes me life's groupie..  :o)


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