First things first, as you can see I changed the look of my blog. I made this blog in 2009 and designed the look myself, back when we were still in the MySpace era and everybody knew how to code before we knew how valuable coding was. Coding has left my memory, unfortunately, so I have to settle for one of the default templates on this site. One of my biggest regrets. lol.
Anywho, back to these life updates.
Motherhood has been very good to me. It's been hard but a transition like the one I've experienced can never come easy. My mind is different. My body is very different. I am a good 20 pounds lighter than I was BEFORE pregnancy. I can't gain the weight back, probably because I'm still breastfeeding. Tummy on fleek but my curves are gone. Hips, thighs, and hindquarters. It's been depressing watching my body change in this way.
Sidney's response has been "You've been complaining all this time about wanting to tighten up your midsection and now it'…
The problem with social media is, people tend to give you mostly the good or the bad stuff that's going on in their lives, depending on the type of attention they want (or need). Even if you try and balance out the good and the bad, people are still going to make assumptions about your life that aren't true to the life you're actually living.
So I'm one of those people that try to balance things on social media. I don't want people thinking I'm living the perfect life because I'm not. I don't want people to think my life is miserable because it's not.
I say all of that to say.. for the most part everything in my life is going well. I just got the last room in my house rented, and we are in the process of searching for another property to rent in Cali. Health insurance, all of that is taken care of. Money is no longer the huge issue it once was.
However, right now there is a major conflict going on in my head. I'm having a problem sorting things…
When I've said that I've been feeling a change coming, this is one of those major things I was talking about. I've been dealing with being unhappy for a long time now. It's not necessarily the job itself, but a JOB IN GENERAL. I sit at this desk every weekday of my life and daydream about a different type of life. I try to work on other endeavors while I'm off, but even something as simple as a hobby is damn near impossible because when I'm not at work, I have mommy duties. When I don't have mommy duties, I'm at work. Sometimes those two things loop into each other. And when I have a moment to have a break from both all I'm trying to do is REST.
I thank God every day that I was able to land a great-paying job at a respected agency right out of college. I was hired before I even graduated, which was a huge blessing and I am very proud of that accomplishment. I was convinced that I was going to be the w…